Carina de Klerk bereavement services
A life should be celebrated, and a life lost should be mourned, because a life is a life no matter how small.
​So what is a bereavement doula?
A bereavement doula provides support to families who are experiencing or anticipate loss. We are trained professionals who understand grief, and the process parents go through when they lose their baby/babies. We offer support for all types of loss, such as early or late term miscarriage, stillbirths, or pregnancies that have a terminal diagnosis. We also help parents who lose their babies to SIDS, and babies who pass away in the NICU. A bereavement birth worker is different from a bereavement doula. A bereavement doula is qualified to help parents through loss, and bereavement doulas are trained to help parents through their pregnancy, through loss, and in the birth of their baby. We guide parents through the motions, inform them of their options, as well as providing physical and emotional care throughout their journey. We also use photography to help capture every precious moment that parents who lose their babies, get to spend with their little ones because the memories and photographs is all they can hold on to in the coming days, months and years.
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So what does that support look like?
This depends on the gestation of the baby at the time of death and the needs of the family. For early miscarriage, support may mean attending the doctors appointment or accompanying you to the emergency room. Emotional support via text, phone, email, or instant messaging. Being present while you labour and birth baby, preparing you to greet baby, bonding options for a tiny baby, explaining options and transportation for baby’s body. For stillbirth, the support may include much the same as above but may be more in-depth to ensure memories and mementos are created.
As Bereavement Doulas we journey with a family whose baby’s life is expected to be brief. Allowing them to enter into the sacred space where as they say hello and goodbye to their child. Every life matters and we want each family to know, they are not walking this path alone. Bereavement Doulas have a heart of compassion and understanding for those who are grieving the loss of a child. Your Doula will not try to fix you or try to find the right answers, rather we are there to come alongside you as companions walking this path together.
As a Bereavement Doula, we will provide information to help you make informed decisions. For example before 26 weeks of gestation in South Africa a fetus that showed no signs of life after delivery are disposed of as medical waste.However your Doula will ensure your baby’s remains are treated with dignity and assist in giving you the option to have them cremated or buried.Your Bereavement Doula will explain that in most hospitals, you can keep your baby with you for as long as you need after they have passed away. She will help you create an intimate environment where you can find comfort in looking at, touching and talking to your baby. Most parents find it helpful to make memories of this cherished time that will last a lifetime. Planning for a funeral is the last thing on anyone’s mind during pregnancy, but for a family who has been given a poor or fatal diagnosis it is a cruel reality. Your Bereavement Doula will provide you with information on the best options for your baby. ​
Costs
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The costs beravement doulas carry are quite high. In order to support families who suffer loss, we carry costs like:
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Childcare for our own children (A labor can go on for days)
Petrol
Printing costs of necessary documents
Mementos supplied to the parents
Photography costs
Birth tools (We bring things like rebozos, birth balls, and other labor aids to help parents as they bring their baby earth-side.)
Our studies cost a lot of money too and we strive to keep improving in order to provide parents with the best care possible.
Cellphone and internet costs as we spend a lot of time communicating electronically with parents.
And of course, we have to live too.
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A person does not become a doula to make money. We do it to help parents. That is why our aim is to help all parents, and parents suffering loss. If you would like to make a donation so that we are able to keep helping others, or sponsor a family, please contact us :)